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Old pentium machine

June 12, 2009

Old pentium machine

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Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (The woodcutter and the Axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

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The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, “Is this your computer?” Disappointed by the Goddess’ lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, “No.”

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said “No, not at all!!”

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said “Yes.”


The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, “Don’t you know that you’re supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own?”

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, “I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!”. So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium machine!!

 

A great writer

June 12, 2009

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.

When asked to define great he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger”.


We are happy to report that the young man achieved his lofty goal. He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.


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Transfer data

June 12, 2009

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.


1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.


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Is There a Floppy Inside?

June 12, 2009

Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”


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Call me an ambulence now

May 27, 2009
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.

Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!

Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

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I have bad and very bad news

May 27, 2009
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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Can I play the piano once these are off?

May 27, 2009
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

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Bad temper problem

May 27, 2009
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

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Would you please do me a favor?

May 27, 2009
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

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How much will this cost me?

May 27, 2009
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $100.00.

Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

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