Browsing Archive: May, 2009
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance! Continue reading ...
Posted by RNYK on Wednesday, May 27, 2009,
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. Continue reading ...
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily
bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages
come off?"
"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before." Continue reading ...
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!! Continue reading ...
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. Continue reading ...
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $100.00.
Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like. Continue reading ...
Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, don't do that. Continue reading ...
The patient shook his doctor's
hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would
not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to
know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then
added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a
little change." Continue reading ...
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Man: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease.
Man: That's great. I was afraid I had cancer! Continue reading ...
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