February 7, 2009
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble? Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game. Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
This old man visits his doctor
and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good
news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you. Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $100.00.
Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Medical jokes
February 7, 2009
Newsflash
Microsoft today announced that it will be changing its name to "Moft"
-- which will clear up space on user's hard disks. It is estimated that
a typical Windows 95 installation contains about 2,800,000 copies of
the word "Microsoft", in copyright notices, end-user licence
agreements, 'About' screens, etc. So, after the change, a user will
have about 14 MBytes more disk space. Stock prices of hard-disk
manufacturers dipped slightly after the announcement.
"Well, the programs will tak... Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Computer jokes
February 7, 2009
A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill
Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together
traveling through stormy conditions.
Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced
that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a
matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the
five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After
saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
"I'm the worl... Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Computer jokes
February 7, 2009
Bill Gates suddenly dies and
finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and
said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough
decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost
every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95
among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done
before; I'll let you decide where you want to go."
Bill pushed... Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Computer jokes
February 7, 2009
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and
Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very
unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so
bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They
were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their
friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though,
that no matter what they did he was "not" changing his mind.
Bill Clinton went in and told his staff, "I have good... Continue reading...
Posted by RNYK. Posted In : Computer jokes
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